Timing is Everything

photo 1I spent a number of years being different levels of angry at God. Occasionally my anger was active and I’d cry and yell at him, but usually it was the passive, just-under-the-skin sort of anger. Always lurking beneath the surface, it quietly drove a wedge between Daddy and me.

You see, people always told me that God gives us the desires of our heart. And mostly, I had a pretty good life. I had a place of my own, a job I enjoyed, and friends and family who cared for me. All my needs were met alongside many of my wants. But the one thing I wanted most in life, the thing I repeatedly told God I’d give everything else up for, he denied. I was asking for bread, and while it’s true he didn’t give me a stone, he certainly didn’t send any baked goods my way.

Frankly, that ticked me off (and “ticked” is not the word I really wanted to use).

The stage was set. I’d prepared myself flawlessly. God was being stubborn and withholding. At least, that’s how it appeared from my perspective. Which, as it turns out, is limited.

Horrendously, laughably limited.

I once heard this concept illustrated as follows: A father who loves his young son and has the means may purchase that son an extravagant, classic sports car. The car is valuable, a collector’s item, and goes really fast. That father, however, would never actually turn over the keys to the car until the son is capable of handling it properly. Get the timing wrong on this gift and what began as an expression of love becomes a death trap, a murder weapon, or both. The son can’t determine for himself when he is ready. His heart is for the car. But the heart of the father is for the son, so it’s the father who decides.

Timing is everything.

Now that I’m walking in this answered prayer, I can look back and see the Father’s hand orchestrating my life. I thought I was ready to handle what I was asking for, but in truth I would’ve crashed and burned. Removing that wedge between God and me and focusing on becoming the person he made me to be prepared me to receive what I’d prayed for, cried for, and longed for all those years. And trust me: it is worth every tear shed and every minute spent waiting.


13 thoughts on “Timing is Everything

  1. Arrrg. Yes, my vision is so limited, but I continue to find myself arguing and fighting and pouting with God – asking Him to give me what I want RIGHT NOW. I don’t remember feeling like I have been in the “desert” as long as I have, when really – it’s only been about 5 years.

    It is encouraging to hear your story on the backend of this waiting period. It gives me a spark of hope that I am still learning and growing and maturing and when I am ready, Dad will hand me the keys. 🙂

    • Ooooh Alana…I feel your pain and frustration. Be encouraged that the wait won’t be forever. Someone told me about seven or eight years ago that when my answer finally came, it would feel like the waiting was nothing. That wasn’t the easiest thing for me to hear at the time, but it certainly proved both wise and true.

      I bet Daddy’s got a super sweet car in mind for you! 😉

  2. i came across your blog while looking up the movie girl in process.coincidence? i know it is not.i have been waiting on the lord also for a longing that is deferred.proverbs 13:12.waiting since 1999.he gives me what i need as i wait. some days are harder than others.i keep reminding him I’m not getting any younger! lol. he has placed a strong passion in me that keeps me faithful to his will.i promised the lord i would wait and i meant it! glad i didn’t know it would be this long then, because i would have ran away! 🙂 he is my Abba and will never do me harm. he always keeps his promises it may not be when i want it, BUT HE WILL DO IT IN HIS TIME. Thanks for letting me know of your received gift from GOD. my day is soon 🙂

    • I love when God orchestrates “coincidences!” Definitely continue to hold tight to faith. Ever notice how God’s sense of time seems to radically differ from ours? God is a good Daddy who will give you the desires of your heart in his perfect timing!

  3. “I was asking for bread, and while it’s true he didn’t give me a stone, he certainly didn’t send any baked goods my way.”

    HA! 🙂 When I think of bread in the bible I just think of loaves of bread. Like a long stick of french bread or something. When I think of baked goods I think of cookies. Mmmmm! I was asking for bread and God gave me cookies? haha.

    On a more serious note…. “Frankly, that ticked me off (and “ticked” is not the word I really wanted to use).”

    Curious what the word you really wanted to use was and I am curious about what being mad at God is like for you.

    For me I usually just get mad at people for sucking (or my perceived notion that they suck). When I don’t get what I want I usually end up depressed which usually leads me to some type of destructive behavior. My anger is usually at myself or at other people. I think maybe I just shut God out? I guess I never thought about it much.

    • Ha! I think if God gave me a cookie instead of bread, I’d probably be excited about it. God-cookies MUST be awesome, right?

      The word I wanted to use has the same amount of letters, begins with a P, and is considered by some to be a swear word, so to avoid offending I said “ticked” instead.

      My being angry with God kinda manifested itself similarly to how you described your experience. I put distance between us. I didn’t allow myself to trust him. I tried not to need him. Unconsciously, of course. I could feel something was off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it, on what my anger drove me to do, until it was exposed and dealt with. Sorta that 20/20 hindsight thing. 🙂

      I think I may go ask God for a cookie now. Or perhaps a cupcake. 😉

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